I noticed when I was a young child that I did not have a lot of patience (little did I know that I had an adrenal disorder that allowed anxiety to rule my life - it's genetic in our family.) My anxiety would creep into the light via nervousness and crying and stay with me at night in the form of night terrors, but as I was girl everyone just thought I was sensitive. As I got older, let's say 14 or so, I realized that the lack of patience in my family was actually very destructive, so I decided that I wouldn't let it destroy me -although this is a condition that has drastically worked it's way in my life; through love, support and lots of work, I've been able to keep it pretty much at bay (I say pretty much because goodness knows I've slipped in dealing with it at times, of which I am not proud.) Now you all know what's coming right? I've had the Epiphany......
When I am working on a design or a change that I feel will make a big positive impact in my life, I want it to happen now - if it doesn't I tend to fee like a failure. Shouldn't it have been the block buster that my muse said it would be? See the muse is always getting me trouble (I have no shame in blaming the muse as she walks hand in hand with the anxiety - I think they're cousins.) Well, once again I've learned a big lesson in patience. Patience pays off!!! The muse needs to take a lunch date with patience and see if they can't put my welfare on their mutual TO DO list (I'd be forever grateful.)
So, back in early July I started researching ways to make my knitting pay off . It has always paid off in ways other than monetary, but I wanted to make that leap to the next level. I started this blog - joined Ravelry (I call it Facebook for knitters and crocheters) - published my first pattern - created an online store front and am working on a Fall knitting collection for publication in late September. Oz Dust Designs & Green Girl Studio lives - finally freaking finally (can't help but be excited when a heartfelt dream starts to take shape,) This has taken two months, not really much time in the grand scheme, but when anxiety lives in your house, two months can be forever - so this is really a big step for me. I've not made a cent yet, but you see the lessons I've learned in the past two months are far more important. I've learned that slow and steady actually does win the race. The speed of time is relative depending on your point of view. I've learned that letting each one of these things happen at their own pace with a little diligence from me equals success. At least in my definition of success.
I know this will be a long journey and that's good. I want it to be a long journey - forever changing and growing. I want this for me - a little thing in this huge world that I can call my creation. And I will patiently nurture it and watch it and support it through all it's ups and downs. And to all my fellows on their own journeys - peace and joy to you along your path.
Peace and joy to you all.....
The Green Girl
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